


falling for you

by Gansey44



Series: Hidden Desires- A Shadowhunters Series [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluffy, M/M, Multi-POV, clary's mother has just died, izzy and clary have a lot of sexual tension but they don't want to admit it, simon wants to set them up, there's plenty of saphael and malec thrown in!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9873134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gansey44/pseuds/Gansey44
Summary: '“Do you think Clary has a crush on Izzy?” Simon asked casually.Raphael, who had been taking a sip of blood from his goblet, almost choked.'ORThe one where Clary and Izzy's sexual tension is undeniable, though Clary won't admit it to herself- because Izzy is just her friend, right? Luckily they have boyfriend's Simon and Raphael to hatch a plan to get them together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is Part Two of Hidden Desires- A Shadowhunter Series. 
> 
> Part One is called 'Fangs and Flirting' which focuses on Saphael. You don't have to have read that first to understand this one, but it does describe how they got together :)

There was a soft knock on the door, causing Clary Fray to moan and bury her face deeper into the pillow.

Whoever it was, they needed to leave.

A moment later, the door swung open and she heard careful footsteps pad over to the bed, and then felt the mattress sink slightly as someone sat on the end of it.

“I didn’t say come in” she said, her voice flat and muffled against the pillow.

“I know” Izzy’s voice came lightly. “I decided to ignore your rudeness and gave you the pleasure of my company anyway.”

“I mean it.” Clary rolled over to face the ceiling, hands folded over her stomach. She knew she probably looked terrible- she hadn’t changed in two days and had spent the better part of that time lying listlessly in her bed. “I don’t want to talk to anyone. Even you. Everyone keeps using soft voices around me and telling me ‘it’s okay to grieve’ and I’m…I’m _sick_ of it. I just want to be alone.”

There was a slight pause, and for a moment she regretted the harshness in her tone. But it faded. Maybe she wasn’t able to feel anything anymore- since her mother had died two days ago, she’d felt completely empty. Hollow, like someone had scooped out her entire insides.

Then, “I don’t care” Izzy said efficiently. “No offense but you haven’t changed in two days and your room kind of smells.” She got up, striding over to the closed curtains and yanking them open. Bright sunlight slanted into the room, hurting Clary’s eyes. How was it even possible that the sun was still shining now that her mother was gone? “By the way, Simon is the vampire, not you- you don’t need to live in the dark all the time.”

For a moment, Clary was so stunned by her no-nonsense tone that she just blinked at her. It was weird to have someone speaking in a normal volume around her- weird, but oddly refreshing. It felt _normal._

“Okay, I want you to meet me in the training room in fifteen minutes” Izzy went on, already striding back to the door.

“Ha. No way.”

“Why?” She paused in the doorway, turning to grin at her, raising an eyebrow. “Afraid I’ll beat your ass? Is that why we never practise together?”

“Izzy…” she paused, swallowing and looking down at the floor. “Thanks.” Her voice wobbled a little bit, and she hated it. “For treating me like a normal person, I mean.”

The other girl’s expression softened, her dark eyes settling on Clary’s before she came over to sit on the bed again, hugging her tightly. Clary let herself be held, burrowing her face into her shoulder and taking in a deep breath. She could feel tears in her eyes all of a sudden, and she let them fall.

It felt like a relief to be finally feeling something.

There was something so comforting about Izzy holding her too- so different to Jace and Simon, their bulk and strength- Izzy was softness and light breathing, smelling like her usual fruity perfume that Clary breathed in deeply.

After a long time, she sat back, giving her a small smile through the last tears still trailing down her face. “You might want to re-think about who’s going to be beating who’s ass.”

Izzy grinned back, her usual glittering mischievousness, the inviting curve of her mouth, but with something softer and comforting underneath. “I’ll hold you to that, Fray.”

 

Changing her clothes and brushing her hair seemed suddenly to take all the effort that running a marathon would require, but Clary shoved the urge to crawl back into bed away. However it was twenty minutes later, not fifteen, that she walked into the training room. Sunlight was streaming through the colourful stained glass windows high in the wall, creating dappled patterns on the tiled floor. Izzy was already there, warming up as she whirled two staffs impressively about her.

In one smooth movement she spun with the staffs, effectively trapping Clary against the nearest wall. “You’re late.”

The cool press of the wood against her collarbone made Clary feel suddenly more alert, as if the sly invitation of a battle had caused her Shadowhunter senses to wake up and sniff the air hopefully. It had nothing to do with the fact that Izzy had braided her hair in two French braids falling over her shoulders, accentuating the deft lines of her cheekbones. Obviously.

Inwardly, Clary shook herself. Izzy just looked pretty. The same way she looked pretty in her tight black training gear, her runes stark again her pale skin. The same way she looked pretty in the colourful dresses she wore when she wasn’t training. The same way she _always_ looked pretty.

Izzy passed her the second staff and the two of them moved into the middle of the room, slowly circling each other.

Clary rolled out her neck, trying to ease out the aches that lying in bed for two days had given her.

“So who have you mainly been training with?” Izzy asked.

“Jace. But not that much recently” Clary trailed off, clearing her throat.

Izzy nodded, not perusing the topic- Clary guessed it was awkward for everyone, not just her and Jace. They’d all seen them kissing and flirting- actions that made her cringe now.

Instead, Izzy just rolled her eyes, though she was grinning. “Ah, a boy.”

“Is that bad?”

“Well, I don’t mean to be rude- but girls are way better at training. And at fighting.”

“And at everything?” Clary enquired, with her own attempt at a grin. It felt a little flimsy, but still. She was trying.

Isabelle’s grin curved wider, mischief and danger side by side. “Of course. It’s the best kept secret everyone tries to deny.”

“Prove it then, trainer.”

Accepting her words, Izzy moved forwards in a blur of elegant, lethal movements, swiping her staff through the air with a clean whoosh. It was almost like she was dancing, her movements fluid and smooth- and twice as dangerous because of it. Clary tried to copy her movements, to move her staff in the same way.

It was difficult, and not just because she was stiff from lack of activity. When she’d trained with Jace they’d mainly focused on hand to hand combat- or staring at each other and hurriedly looking away when the other caught them, if she was honest with herself. Learning with staffs was a lot harder.

“Not bad” Izzy said approvingly as Clary started to meet her strikes with her own staff, the sound of them echoing in the cavernous training room.

“Not bad?” Clary repeated, a little breathless but trying not to show it. “Such high praise.” She redoubled her efforts, trying even harder to block Izzy’s movements.

They were a blur of wooden staffs and black braids and red curls, ducking and rolling and spinning back in time to block the other’s advance. Clary could feel the adrenaline pumping round her blood, all thoughts erased apart from the thrill of the fight, the thrill of catching Izzy’s gaze as their staffs struck. She was almost getting proud of herself when all of a sudden Izzy whirled with such strength Clary released she’d been holding back considerably before then.

Clary found herself flat on her back, the breath knocked out of her. Izzy kneeled with a knee either side of her, staff held flat against her throat. She had a cat’s grin. “Don’t get cocky. Worst mistake you can make.”

Clary panted for breath, unable to stop the matching grin from appearing on her face. She liked the feeling of Izzy’s slight weight across her waist. “How could I get cocky when I’m fighting you? Let’s be honest, Izzy, you’d always win.”

“Aww.” Izzy smiled at her, relaxing her grip on the staff a little. “How-”

That was all Clary needed to wrench Izzy’s staff from her hands and jump onto her feet, pressing both staffs against the other girl’s neck where she still kneeled on the floor. “Don’t get cocky” she repeated back to her. “Worst mistake you can make, right?”

There was pride in Izzy’s smile. She was right- she was much a better trainer than Jace had been. “Impressive, I have to admit.”

“I’m a quick study.”

Clary offered her a hand- Izzy took it, her hand warm and calloused. Clary’s callouses were from drawing, Izzy’s from fighting. Two different lives they’d led- until now.

“Do you want to keep going?” Izzy asked. “Hey, maybe we could ask Alec to come and practise with us, _that_ would be fun. If he isn’t smooching Magnus somewhere, that is.”

Clary shook her head. “No thanks. That was really…thank you, it was good.” She smiled at the other girl, trying to hide the crushing grief that overwhelmed her as soon as they stopped fighting, as soon as she was able to think again. “But I think I’m going to go back to my room now.”

“Are you sure?” Izzy’s grin faded, she looked suddenly concerned, her eyes roaming Clary’s face. “Do you need a friend, or-?”

“I’m fine.” It felt like a lie, because it was. Clary wasn’t used to lying to Izzy, who she now considered her best friend- along with Simon, of course.

Izzy dropped her staff, releasing a soft sigh. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know” she said quietly, holding Clary’s gaze. “If you need me, _when_ you need me, I’m here for you.” There was a pause where the two of them looked at each other, Clary swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

Slowly, Izzy reached out and tucked a lock of her fiery ginger hair behind her ear. Clary wanted to close her eyes at the soft feeling of Izzy’s fingers skimming her cheek. As they looked at each other, something pulled low in her stomach.

She ignored it. Izzy was her best friend. Her beautiful, kind best friend. It didn’t matter if she felt weird things like that when Izzy touched her, which she did often, or smiled at her. It didn’t matter because they were friends, and that’s all there was to it.

And why on earth was she thinking like this when her mother had just died? She was an awful daughter, an awful person.

Abruptly, Clary turned on her heel and started to walk out the room. To her shock, someone was already stood in the doorway, watching them- Simon.

“Simon, what are you doing here?” she gasped, jumping violently. Heat was also starting to rush into her face, like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t, which was just ridiculous.

“Raphael had to come and alk to Aldertree about something, so I came with” he explained, his smile a little nervous. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you two…”

“You wouldn’t be interrupting anything, we were just training” she said, throwing her arms around him.

She heard Simon release a sigh of relief as his arms tightened around her. “Clary, how are you? No, stupid question. I mean, you seem a little better. You’re out of bed.”

She suddenly felt a little guilty- Simon had tried to come and see her countless times in the last two days but Clary had refused to see anyone, even him. That explained the nervousness in his smile. It wasn’t right that he didn’t know how to act around her- they’d known each other since kindergarten, she shouldn’t have pushed him away.

“Yeah, training made me feel a little better. Took my mind off everything” she replied, stepping back to release him.

Izzy, who had been putting their staffs away, strode past them on her way out. “Hey, Simon. How’s Raphael?” she winked at him.

Predictably, Simon instantly grinned like a lovesick schoolboy, dropping his gaze to the floor. It had only been a few weeks since he and his boyfriend had announced they were dating at a meal at the institute, but he still acted giddily nervous every time someone said Raphael’s name. It was incredibly endearing.

“Stop it. You two are too adorable” Izzy smiled, shaking her head and leaving them to it.

“She’s right” Clary smiled, once she’d gone. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so happy for you, Simon.”

“Thank you.” He was wearing what Clary thought of as his ‘Raphael-smile’: it was secretly blissfully happy but almost nervous, like someone was going to tell him it would all be taken away at any moment. “Er, speaking of that, I’m really glad that you and Izzy…” he cleared his throat, grinning at her. “…that she’s able to cheer you up. You two are so close now.”

“Yeah, we are” Clary said, picking an invisible piece of lint off her sleeve.

“Clary, are you…” Simon trailed off, watching her.

“Am I what?” She was thoroughly confused. Simon’s eyebrows were raised, like he was waiting for her to catch onto something. “Oh. Oh. Simon, oh my gosh, don’t be jealous- you’re still my best friend, okay? I know I’ve been so closed off since…since it happened, and I’m so sorry about that, but don’t ever think I don’t still love you. I lo- I mean, Izzy is my best friend too, but she can never replace you.” She felt awful that he would even consider such a thing, so she reached out and squeezed his hand.

Simon blinked at her for a moment.

“Wait, that’s what you meant, right?”

“I…yeah. That’s what I meant.”

“Simon?” Raphael appeared behind them, wearing a dark suit and looking handsome as ever. Clary loved seeing the new softness in his eyes that appeared whenever he looked at his boyfriend. However that softness didn’t quite extend to when he looked at Clary- his voice was crisply polite when he said hello. Clary wanted to tell him there was no point in being jealous of her, but she doubted he would believe her.

“Yeah, I’m ready” Simon told him, before turning back to Clary. “See you soon, okay? Whenever you want to see me, just call. But not in the day of course, because of the whole vampire thing.” Behind him, Raphael rolled his eyes, though he was trying not to smile.

She smiled. “Got it. Thanks.”

“Great, bye.” He started to walk after Raphael, but turned back after a step. “Clary, remember you can talk to me about anything, right? And I don’t mean just your mom…other stuff, too.” He had that look again, like he was waiting for her to say something. Whatever it was he was expecting, she had no idea.

“Of course I know that, Simon.”

She watched them walk away, noticing Raphael lean in to whisper something to Simon, who laughed, ducking his head. A moment later, their fingers intertwined between them. Clary felt a sudden pang in her chest, an aching loneliness that she shoved away as she started to walk back to her room.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you think Clary has a crush on Izzy?” Simon asked casually.

Raphael, who had been taking a sip of blood from his goblet, almost choked. The two of them were sat at a table at the Hotel Dumort bar that evening, the room full of chatting and socialising vampires. Simon was grateful for the privacy they were giving the clan leader and his boyfriend, who were making it clear they didn’t really want to talk to anyone else by the way they were leaning towards each other, their legs pressed together.

“What?” he said indignantly, as Raphael rolled his eyes heavenwards with his typical heavy sigh.

“ _Dios mio_ ” Raphael muttered under his breath. There was a sudden fondness to all his exasperated Spanish muttering now, and though Simon would never admit it, he found it incredibly sexy. “Firstly, the girl’s mother has just died. Do you really think she’s thinking about that kind of thing now? Secondly, she was infatuated with the Wayland boy just a few weeks ago, if you seem to remember.”

“That’s precisely why I’m bringing it up- Clary needs something like this to support her through this time. I can’t be at the institute all the time. And the reason she can’t realise that she likes Izzy is because she can’t see past the fact that her mother is gone. _And_ ,” he went on louder, as Raphael’s brows rose even higher, “It doesn’t matter that she liked Jace, what relevance does that have to anything?”

“So you think she’s bi. But why hasn’t she told you?”

“I didn’t tell her about me” Simon reminded him. “And I don’t think she’s even realised yet. It’s all very repressed- not that labels really mean anything, of course.”

Raphael released a long suffering sigh, but asked in a voice that made it clear he was only going along with this for Simon’s benefit: “And what about Izzy? Is she secretly bi as well?”

“Oh, no, she’s a lesbian” Simon said matter-of-factly, taking a sip from his goblet.

“Right. Stupid me, of course she is. And you know this how?”

“Please. She’s dated so many guys, but how long has she stayed with any of them? About a month, at most.” Simon could feel his hands beginning to flap about, which always happened when he got more excited about he was saying. It was a theory he’d secretly had for a long time- and now that he was happy with Raphael, the thought of Clary drowning herself in suffering and grief alone was unbearable.

Izzy and Clary were meant for each other. And if he was the only one smart enough to see that at the moment, well then he would just have to convince everyone else. Including the two of them.

“And earlier today you should have seen them training…the sexual tension was _palpable_.”

A small smirk appeared on Raphael’s lips. “And you’re now the expert?” As he held Simon’s gaze, Simon felt heat in his face, knowing he was recalling the times they’d trained together back when Simon has first come to the Hotel Dumort. The sexual tension had pretty _palpable_ then too.

Getting over his flusteredness- damn Raphael for still having that effect on him with just one suggestive glance- Simon cleared his throat. “I know you’re not convinced, but I really am. So would you please help me? We can be like…oh my god, we can be like cupids! Or special love doctors, I don’t know.”

“Cupids” Raphael said flatly. “Do I look like a grinning cherub with a bow and arrow to you?”

“Pleaseee” Simon sang under his breath, holding Raphael’s gaze with wide, innocent eyes. “Is there really no part of you that wants to help? Now that you’re so happily loved up yourself?”

Raphael smiled despite himself, looking down. Ha. Maybe Simon could make _him_ flustered as well. “Well I guess it would be kind of…cute.” He said the word half-sarcastically, but at least he’d said it. For Raphael, that was a miracle.

“Not adorable?”

“I’ve never said the word adorable in my whole life and I’m not starting now.”

“Oh that’s funny, because I seem to remember you said I was adorable right before you kissed me for the first time-”

“Okay” Raphael said loudly, eyes darting to a group of vampires passing them. “Okay, shut up. I’ll help you with whatever messed up plan you’re concocting.”

A triumphant grin spread over Simon’s face. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, don’t look so pleased” Raphael said shortly, “I still think you’re ridiculous for getting involved when it really doesn’t concern-”

Partly because he was grateful but mostly because Simon wanted to shut him up, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Raphael’s. His plan worked. He felt Raphael pause in surprise before the other vampire leaned forward over the table too, their mouths opening against each other. Under the table, Raphael’s hand was creeping up Simon’s thigh. Heart pounding hard in his chest, Simon allowed his fangs to extend enough to slightly graze his lower lip. Raphael’s breath hitched in response, causing Simon’s own stomach to jump.

“Enough” Raphael said all of a sudden, breaking away breathlessly. He leaned back, adjusting his suit and rapidly glancing around to see if anyone had noticed the clan leader acting inappropriately in a public place.

Simon just gave him a little smirk, Raphael-style, before making his way over to the bar for more drinks.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a small pink piece of paper folded into a neat square just outside Clary’s door.

It was a few hours since she’d come back from training with Izzy, and the majority of that time she’d spent flicking through her old sketchbooks. It wasn’t like she felt like she was able to draw anything now- her mind felt as empty as a blank piece of paper. But looking through her old drawings- as painful as the ones of her mother were to see- helped take her mind off the rest of the world.

Now, she was on her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth before having an early night. What point was there to staying up? Nothing interested her, nothing seemed like it was worth doing. At least sleep was oblivion.

Confused, she bent to pick up the piece of paper, looking up and down the empty corridor. When she unfolded it, a neat note in careful cursive was written over it.

_If you’re up for an adventure, follow me. There’s something waiting for you if you just come and see._

Clary felt her eyebrows raise. What the hell? A practical joke, or someone trying to cheer her up?

She looked up the corridor, noticing for the first time a trail of pink glitter leading down the hall by the wall.

A part of her was tempted to just ignore it, head to the bathroom and then crawl back into bed, but a larger part of her was actually intrigued. Besides, if someone had actually made the effort to set this out for her, shouldn’t she follow it?

The glitter continued all the way down the corridor to the end, where it split left and right. Another note was lying next to the right side, the glitter continuing beyond it. Clary unfolded it.

_Keep going- you’re on the right track. Please continue if you want a tasty snack._

Feeling a smile appear on her face- as unsure and fragile as a new plant appearing before the sun- Clary continued down the corridor at a faster pace now, the two notes in her hand. The corridor led to the steel double doors that entered into the kitchen, where a third pink note lay.

_Beyond these doors lies something sweet, open them to receive your treat._

Taking a breath, Clary pushed the doors open and stepped into the kitchen.

It was empty at the time of the evening- clean stainless steel, neatly swept counters, different to the usual hustle and bustle that filled it most of the time.

Except for a tall glass sat on large counter in the middle of the room, filled with a frothy pink liquid and a straw. Clary smiled. Strawberry milkshake.

“You’re supposed to drink it, not just smile at it.”

Izzy had appeared from the shadows, smiling at her. Her hair was loose, tumbling over her shoulders and she’d changed into a purple crop top and loose sweatpants.

Of course it had been Izzy. Inwardly, Clary had suspected her from the moment she saw the note- it was pink, for God’s sake.

“Thank you.” Clary went over to the milkshake, but she didn’t pick it up.

“Clary.” Izzy’s smile faded a bit. “You missed dinner tonight, and I know that you’ve hardly eaten for the last two days. This is your favourite, isn’t it?”

“It is” she replied quietly. “Thanks.”

How was she supposed to eat when food didn’t even interest her anymore? When she regarded it with the same emptiness as everything else?

There was a pause where she tried to work out how to say all this to Izzy. She felt awful for not taking the damn drink after all the effort Izzy had put into the notes and the glitter, and for making her eat without making it feel like an intervention.

“Well, if you’re not going to drink it, I will” Izzy said after a moment, her voice lightly teasing as she got another straw out a drawer and took a long sip. Clary watched her red lips purse around the straw, her thoughts scattering hectically. “Mmm.” Izzy closed her eyes before flashing them open again. “Delicious.”

“Okay, fine.” Rolling her eyes, Clary bent to take a sip from the other straw. She was acutely aware of how close Izzy was, their faces and mouths in close proximity. She could understand why people did this on a date. But why was she thinking about dates? This was Izzy, her best _friend…_

A soft sigh escaped her without her permission, making Izzy grin. It was really good. Melted ice cream, frothy milk, the sweet taste of real strawberries. “You’re officially the best milkshake maker ever.”

“I agree with you” Izzy said without a trace of irony, making her laugh. As they sipped the milkshake Clary found her eyes wandering back to the other girl, who smiled at her with the softness and sparkling mischievousness that made Izzy as perfect as she was.

Clary had never been more grateful to have met her as she was in that moment.

 

 

Hours later, Clary lay awake in her bed, sighing in frustration. It felt like she’d been tossing and turning for hours, kept awake by the thoughts churning in her mind, the restlessness coursing through her blood. Moonlight was shining through a crack in the curtains right onto her face, bright and insistent.

Unable to bear her thoughts anymore, she threw back the covers and stepped out of bed.

Fifteen minutes later, dressed in all black and her stele safely in her pocket, Clary snuck out the front doors of the Institute into the dark city. New York was like a different place once night fell- coloured lights flickering from bars and clubs, snatches of loud music pumping from dark-tinted car windows, the homeless and hopeless curled on the side of the sidewalk. She didn’t really know where she was going- only that the air on her face and the purpose to her walk felt so much better than being trapped in the Institute- until she was walking up the fire-escape to her old apartment. It was like her feet had automatically bought her here without her telling them to.

It was so achingly familiar from the outside- the ivy creeping up the walls, the graffiti scrawled on the brick. The door was open, which wasn’t really a surprise- inside was a charred, burnt mess from the fire that had raged the night her life had changed forever. She’d been back to the apartment only once since then with Simon and Alec searching for the Mortal Cup, but coming back by herself only brought the waves of emotion hitting her even stronger.

She walked into the unrecognisable burnt mess that had been her mother’s bedroom, looking at the rubble strewn on the floor that had once been her belongings. Everything turned to ashes, everything turned to ruins. Just like her old life.

There was a soft creak behind her. Clary spun round, her stele slashing out into the glowing blade.

Isabelle appeared out the shadows, her snake whip coiled round her wrist and her expression serious.

“You followed me” Clary spat furiously. “You had no right to do that!”

“You’re not properly trained,” Izzy said quietly, “you can’t leave the Institute by yourself. And I meant what I said earlier, Clary- I’m here for you. Always.”

Already, Clary could feel her flare of indignant anger dying, disappearing like flames being stamped out. She didn’t have the energy to be angry when she was standing in the ruin of her apartment. “I’m sorry” she whispered, dropping her blade onto the floor. “I can’t…” she took an unsteady breath.

Calm and steady, Izzy bent to pick up her stele before taking Clary’s hand and squeezing it gently. “I know. Come on, let’s go home.”

 

Clary allowed herself to be gently led back to the Institute, where Izzy opened the door to her bedroom and sat her down on the bed. “Are you okay here?” she asked. “Do you need anything?”

Clary shook her head. All at once, exhaustion had caught up with her, leaving her almost unable to speak.

With a soft smile, Izzy nodded and touched her cheek briefly before turning back to the door. Just as she was about to leave, Clary called out quietly, “Would you stay with me?”

Izzy turned, surprised.

“Please” Clary mumbled clumsily. “I don’t…really want to be alone right now.” For a moment Izzy didn’t say anything and Clary could feel heat rising in her face, the idiocy of the question hitting her all at once.

But then Izzy nodded firmly. “Of course I’ll stay with you.”

The two of them climbed into the double bed and Izzy clicked out the bedside lamp, plunging them into darkness. Listening to the soft breathing of the other girl in the dark, Clary closed her eyes and was finally able to sleep.

 

 

When she woke up, the sunlight streaming through the crack in the curtains told her it had to be almost noon. She felt warm and relaxed and the most normal she’d felt in the last three days.

During the night, she and Izzy had moved much closer to each other- now they were practically spooning, Clary pressed close to the other girl’s back, resting her cheek on her back. Izzy’s long black hair was tickling her cheek as breaths rose and fell gently.

Clary closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. It felt so _right_ that she didn’t dare move, like real life would invade with it’s awkwardness and grief and everything else at any moment.

A few minutes later, she felt Izzy stir slightly before she turned round, so close to Clary that they were almost nose to nose. “Hey” Izzy whispered, smiling.

“Hey” Clary whispered back. Their hair had pooled together on the pillow- black and red, intertwined together.

Clary’s eyes dropped from Izzy’s eyes to her full lips, then lower, sweeping down her neck and collarbone to the view down her top…

She swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how close they were, how fast her heart had started beating. Almost as if Izzy noticed how close they were at the same time she did, the other girl rolled over and got out of bed. “Promise you’ll wait here” she said, shooting her a smile as she walked to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Wait and see.” A typical slow Izzy grin and then she’d disappeared.

Left alone in the warm bed, Clary rolled over into Izzy’s space and pressed her face into the other girl’s pillow, inhaling deeply. Fruity perfume and warmth and something that was entirely Isabelle.

She made sure she was back on her own side by the time Izzy returned, holding a wooden tray bearing a smoothie, toast, some yogurt and granola and a small vase of flowers. “Breakfast is served” she said with a flourish, putting it on her knees once Clary had sat up.

For a moment Clary was so touched so that she just opened and closed her mouth, beaming at the other girl. All the effort that Izzy had gone into for her in the last few days…

“I love you” she said finally, before inwardly cursing herself for letting something like that slip out. Damn it.

But Izzy didn’t seem to notice her blushing as she sat down on the bed with a smirk. “Doesn’t everyone?” She leant forward and snatched a piece of toast.

“Oh, so that’s the plan, is it? Act like you’ve made me breakfast but then just steal it all yourself?”

“And get all the gratitude in the process. Looks like you’ve caught me.” How could someone make eating toast look sensual?

_Sensual?_ Clary gave her head a hard mental shake. Maybe she wasn’t properly awake yet, because she definitely wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Let’s share it” she said, handing Izzy the rest of the toast.

“You don’t have to-”

“Isabelle. After all you’ve done for me lately, will you at least let me share my breakfast with you?”


	4. Chapter 4

“I can’t believe we’re doing this” Raphael muttered under his breath as Simon led the way down the Institute hallway to Clary’s room early that evening.

Neither could Simon, actually. He couldn’t believe that he’d managed to convince Raphael to help him set his plan in motion, and that the two of them were actually here to persuade Clary to come out with them and Izzy tonight.

“And for _shadowhunters_ ” Raphael went on, distasteful.

“Who happen to be your friends” Simon reminded him pointedly. “And I know you secretly want them to be together just as much as me, so stop pretending to be this cool, distant vampire you think you are. Everyone knows it’s just an act.”

Raphael glared at him for a moment before looking heavenwards and admitting in a quiet voice, “I think it’s just you that knows it’s an act, actually. Which is probably why I put up with you, despite how annoying you are.” His eyes moved down to rest on Simon’s face, softening.

“’Put up with me’” Simon scoffed, though he could feel himself melting as Raphael continued to look at him _in that way_ , so he quickly looked away and took a breath. Tonight he had to focus, not let Raphael melt him into a puddle. They stopped outside Clary’s room before knocking.

“Come in” she called.

When he entered, she looked up from the book she was reading and smiled warmly at him. “Hey! I wasn’t expecting you two.”

“Hey. We were actually wondering if you wanted to come to the Pandemonium with us?” It was the night club where Clary had first spotted Jace, Izzy and Alec; the night both their lives had changed forever.

Clary’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry, Simon, but I don’t think so. I’m not really up for that.”

“Clary, please, it will be good for you. It will be fun!” He grinned at her, trying to make her excited for it. “You know- music, me impressing you with my dance moves, Raphael scaring everyone in a two foot radius and making us laugh. You deserve this. One night to actually have fun, take your mind off everything that’s happened.”

She sighed, eyes on her book. “I don’t really know how to have fun right now.”

Simon’s heart ached. He went to sit on the bed beside her, wrapping an arm round her shoulders. “Clary, I’m worried about you- sitting in here all day grieving by yourself. Do you think that’s what your mom wanted for you? Happiness is your natural disposition, and just because she’s gone doesn’t mean you can never smile again.” He squeezed her shoulders, voice soft. “So will you come tonight?”

She looked at him, grateful. “Okay.” Then, more confidently: “Okay, sure. Though…I’m not exactly sure what to wear.”

“We thought of that, actually.” Simon grabbed the bag he’d left by the door and drew out a short deep purple dress, shimmery and beautiful. “How about this?”

Clary’s eyes widened as she looked at it. “Where did you get that?”

Simon exchanged a slightly nervous glance with Raphael. “It’s, er, Camille’s.”

“Simon! I’m not wearing a dress belonging to the freaky vampire who turned you in the first place.”

“She’s locked up somewhere and in no chance of needing it back anytime soon” he said confidently, laying it on the bed. “Alright, I just need to pop out a moment whilst Raphael helps you with your hair and makeup-”

Clary’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Yeah, _what?_ ” Raphael echoed, narrowing his eyes.

“He’s really good at this sort of thing, trust me” Simon said, clapping his boyfriend on the shoulder. “Oh, don’t give me that look, it’s true. You taught me how to do my hair like this, remember? And don’t pretend I haven’t seen you talking about makeup with the other girls in the coven.”

Raphael was spluttering. “I didn’t know you’d overheard those conversations.”

“You’re the only thing I notice when I come into a room” Simon told him. “Of course I heard.” He grinned at the pair of them, looking back at him in shock. “Okay, shall I leave you two to it?”

Before either of them could argue, he was hurrying out the door and walking along the corridor to Izzy’s room, where he knocked and waited until she called for him to enter.

Izzy was polishing her snake bracelet/whip (a weapon Simon seriously envied) when he came in. “Hi, do you want to go to the Pandemonium club tonight?” There wasn’t really time to beat around the bush.

“Eh, not really.”

“Clary’s going” Simon added hopefully.

There was a small pause as Izzy stopped polishing, before looking up at him with her dazzling smile. “Okay, sure.”

Feeling a triumphant smile on his face, Simon glanced back at her to see her noticing it, her eyes narrowed. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because you pretty much confirmed it for me” he said cheerfully.

“Confirmed what?”

“That you like Clary.”

Izzy gaped at him for a moment. “Simon, you can’t just waltz in here and start making accusations-”

“Oh, is this the ‘Izzy Pretends She Doesn’t Like Clary And We All Try To Convince Her Otherwise’ Club?” Alec asked, smoothly sailing in through the open door without warning and sitting down on the bed. He flicked Simon a glance. “What is the vampire doing here?”

“Okay, firstly that’s just rude- I have a name, as I’ve told you many times before. It’s Simon. S-I-M-O-N.”

“I was just trying to annoy you, calm down” Alec said, waving his hand at him dismissively. A moment later, Magnus Bane followed him round the corner, his face brightening when he spotted Alec sitting on the bed. “Oh, there you are. Why are we all gathered here, is it a special meeting?”

Simon felt a little flustered with so many people coming in unexpectantly. He might as well have invited the entire Institute. “I was just saying that-”

“Izzy is into Clary” Alec said over him, arms crossed.

Magnus swore under his breath, causing Simon to be lost in momentary confusion until the warlock dug into his pocket before tipping a handful of money into Alec’s expectant palm.

He rolled his eyes. “Do you two honestly bet on every relationship?”

“Makes it more fun” Magnus grinned at him. “And I suppose I won the bet on you and Raphael, so it’s only fair that Alexander wins this one.”

“Can you just admit it?” Alec asked, turning to his sister. “It’s honestly tiring that you won’t.”

“Hypocrite” Izzy said, narrowing her eyes at him with a pointed look to Magnus.

“At least Alexander can admit it now” Magnus said with a small grin, leaning over to drop a slow kiss on Alec’s neck.

“ _Alright_ ” said Simon loudly, trying to re-establish order. “Can we please focus? The point is, we all know you like Clary- as in more than a friend, and I know that she likes you too.”

Izzy’s eyes turned huge as she stared at him. “She told you that?” Her voice had turned breathy.

“Not exactly” Simon said reluctantly, causing a disappointed sigh from Alec and a whispered _does this mean I get my money back?_ from Magnus. “But she talks about you _all_ the time” he hurried on, “even when she first came to the Institute, it was you she talked about 24/7, not Jace or anyone else. ‘Izzy is so kind, so smart, her fashion sense is so amazing’…and believe me, she’s never been very interested in fashion, so I reckon her talking about your clothes is the only way she can admit to herself how attracted she is to you.”

Izzy’s cheeks were turning pink, and it occurred to Simon that he’d never actually seen her blush before.

“Izzy does that too” Alec vouched. “About Clary, I mean. In fact, I actually remember saying ‘she’s not even that pretty anyway’ when Clary first arrived here, and she damn near tore my head off for saying it.”

“You were only saying it because you were jealous that Jace liked her” Izzy shot back.

Alec scowled in response, shifting his body a little closer to Magnus.

“Oh calm down, kids” Magnus said calmly, “Let Simon speak for a moment.”

Simon gave him a grateful look. “Okay, Izzy, here is Raphael and I’s plan…”

 

Ten minutes later, after Izzy had agreed to the plan and Alec and Magnus had stopped arguing about who had won their stupid bet, Simon went back into Clary’s room. And almost fell over.

Clary looked _stunning_. She was stood in the purple dress which fitted her like a glove in front of the mirror, whilst Raphael curled her hair to leave it in long spirals over her shoulders. He’d applied faint silvery eyeshadow to her lids, and her large eyes looked almost ethereal with their fine kohl lining. “Clary, you look beautiful, oh my gosh.”

“Not too beautiful, I hope” Raphael said crisply.

“Don’t be jealous, sweetie” Simon said, pinching his cheek which made Clary laugh and Raphael shoot him a death look that was very far from amused and still somehow kind of adorable.

“Thanks. It’s very…tight though” she said doubtfully, twisting a little in the mirror. “Oh, and Raphael said Izzy might be coming?” Simon couldn’t miss the hope in her voice.

“It’s perfect, trust me. And yeah, she is.”

Clary smiled at the floor. Whilst she wasn’t looking, Simon looked at Raphael, mouthing _thank you_ \- he was referring to the hair and the makeup and for helping him with the plan overall, despite the fact he claimed to disapprove of it. Raphael rolled his eyes, unable to take gratitude or show any emotion that wasn’t exasperation, but Simon noticed the smile playing around his lips.

There was a knock on the door, and a moment later Isabelle walked in. She was wearing her tight red dress with the low neckline, her hair parted down the middle and swept up at either side. “Hey are you guys…” spotting Clary, she trailed off and swallowed. “Wow. Is that my dress?”

“No, it’s Camille’s.

“Thought so. It’s too gorgeous, even for my clothes” Izzy grinned at her. “Clary you look…just wow.”

Laughing nervously, Clary dropped her gaze. “Not as good as you. I never could.”

Izzy came forward and lifted her chin with a finger, forcing Clary to look her in the eye. “You’re beautiful, okay” she said quietly, smiling at her. Simon looked at the ramrod straightness of Izzy’s back, her unshakeable confidence that seemed to transfer into Clary as they looked at each other- Clary stood straighter, held her head higher as she smiled back at the other girl.

“Right” Simon said, clapping his hands. “Should we get going, then? It’s already pretty late.”

“Us girls need plenty of time to get ready” Izzy said teasingly. “As do you and Raphael, by the looks of you two. Does Raphael still do your hair, or have you learnt to do it yourself now?”

Simon opened and closed his mouth, embarrassed. “That’s-”

“Or are you just pretending you can’t do it now so that he does it?” she smirked, before linking her arm through Clary’s and leading the way out the door with Clary muffling her laughter beside her.

 

The four of them were almost out the door of the Institute, Simon and Rachael walking behind the two girls when…

“Where are you guys going?” said a bright voice behind them, and Simon turned with a bloom of dread in his stomach to see Jace, Raj and a few other Shadowhunters watching them leave with interest.

“Nowhere” he said hastily, at the same time Clary replied, “The Pandemonium Club.”

“Aw, I haven’t been there in ages, is it okay if we tag-“

“No. You can’t” Simon said abruptly, causing everyone to stare at him. Clary raised her eyebrows slightly- _what are you doing?_

Jace frowned at him, crossing his arms. “Why not?”

“Because…” Simon floundered, looking to Raphael for help. His boyfriend just widened his eyes innocently, as if equally confused. “Yeah, why not Simon?”

Okay, Simon was going to punch him later.

“Because we’ve already pre-booked” he said finally, trying to steer Izzy and Clary towards the door.

“It’s a club” Jace pointed out drily. “You can’t pre-book.” Jace now needed to be added to the list of people he needed to punch today.

“It’s a special guest night thing” he garbled, “so you have to book tonight. Okay, bye!” With this, he shoved Izzy and Clary out the door, yanked Rahael through behind them and closed the door firmly after them.

The two girls led the way down the row of steps coming from the main doors of the Institute down the concrete path to the street, and Simon let himself and Raphael fall a little behind. “Thanks for nothing” he muttered, moving to shove him.

It was like trying to shove a boulder. Raphael didn’t even move an inch. “You done?” he said, clearly amused.

In answer, Simon just groaned. He wasn’t cut out for being a cupid or love doctor- his nerves were honestly already frayed enough.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The first time Clary had come to the Pandemonium Club felt like months ago now, and just like that night it was a riot of colour and noise. Her arm still linked with Izzy's, Clary stepped into the shadowy room pumping with a pounding beat as figures- downwolders and shadowhunters alike- danced among the flickering strobe lights.

Beside her, Izzy's eyes were shining with excitement as she looked around, her shoulders already moving to the beat.

If she'd wanted a distraction the pounding music, the crush of dancing bodies and the tangible thrill in the air definitely served as one.

"Come on" said Simon, waving them over to the bar. He seemed so comfortable here, leaning on the bar with Raphael beside him to order them drinks, that Clary had to wryly wonder if he'd visited the club with his boyfriend for a date previously.

"Woah" she said, eyebrows raised as Simon slid a shot towards her and Izzy as he and Raphael were served goblets of blood. "Planning to get us drunk?"

"Planning to have a good time" Izzy corrected her, her mouth a crooked line that made Clary feel like she had to look away quickly.

The only time Clary had been drunk before was when she and Simon had once snuck into his mother's liquor cabinet and tried everything until they were sick. After that, she hadn't really had much of an appetite for drinking. Now, though, she tipped back the shot at the same time as Izzy, Simon already sliding two new ones in front of them.

There was a whole rainbow of shots after that: green, orange, blue, red, all disappearing in a blur as she laughed at every dry comment Raphael said (who knew he was actually so funny?) and Izzy kept touching her arm as she swayed to the music and Clary could feel a trembling new happiness that made her feel like she might actually be ok.

She wasn't exactly sure how long they'd been there- to be honest everything had gone a little blurry and strange, but Izzy kept touching her and Clary kept laughing and so she honestly didn't care- but she discovered that Simon and Raphael had disappeared. "Where are they?" she shouted to Izzy over the music.

"Huh?" Izzy shouted back, her eyes half-closed as she shimmied.

"Simon and Raphael" she replied, but gave up when it became apparent that Izzy really wasn't listening to her.

"Let's dance!" Izzy said instead, eagerly grabbing her arm and pulling her onto the dancefloor.

Clary started to protest- would dancing even be possible in a dress this tight?- but Izzy kept pushing through the crowd, seemingly not noticing the admiring glances that were being thrown her way from all sides. She only stopped when they were right in the centre of the dance floor, where it was hot and wild, the music insane and throbbing. She flashed her a wicked grin before she started to move- the beat flooding through her body, her arms in the air. Just letting the music guide her.

Clary was stunned, staring at her. She was stood completely stock-still in the midst of the swaying, jumping crowd, eyes wide. "I don't-" Izzy just laughed, drunk on the music as well as the alcohol. "Come on, Clary, this is what having fun looks like." She gave her shoulder a little shove. "You deserve this. Don't think for a moment, okay? Just be."

For a moment, Clary just continued to stand there- in her mind, a hundred different protests were darting back and forth- but then she just took a deep breath and let herself go. 

And she was _moving._ No longer worrying about the dress or what she looked like, just letting the music and the atmosphere soak up all her thoughts. Izzy's eyes were shut, allowing Clary to watch her- hips gyrating, her arms in the air and lights flashing over the beautiful lines of her face. Perhaps unconsciously, she'd moved even closer to Clary so that they were dancing as one person, fingers grazing skin. Sparks were flying inside Clary, catching on Izzy's skin and exploding. Together, they were electric.

Movement behind Izzy caught Clary's eye- a handsome seelie was watching them with a small smile on his lips, before he started pushing through the crowd towards them. He was staring at Izzy in the same way Clary was probably staring at her. There were only a few seconds before he reached them. Clary didn't think. She didn't have time, and her mind felt loose and floaty as it was. She simply reached out and rested her hands on Izzy's hips.

Izzy's eyes flashed open- dark brown against the rim of elegant black kohl. Clary thought bizarrely of Bambi. For a second she was terrified Izzy would step back in disgust, ask her what the hell she was doing.

But instead she simply held Clary's gaze, a funny little smile on her lips and danced even closer against her. Blood was roaring in Clary's ears, her skin a constellation of nerve endings.

Everything else was just background noise. It was her and Izzy, here and now, nothing but touch and sensation. Izzy was still holding her gaze, setting the air alight between them.

_Don't think. Just be._ Clary didn't remember leaning forward, but suddenly her lips were on Izzy's, the other girl's mouth opening. Izzy pressed even closer towards her, as the kiss deepened, her breath coming fast. Izzy's hands were tightening on her hips, whilst Clary let her hand sneak into the other girl's dark hair, which just as soft as she'd imagined it to be.

Kissing Izzy felt like she was drowning in light. It felt like everything. Her heart was about to explode out of her chest. Finally they had to break apart for breath, and Clary took a step and stumbled.

All of a sudden, Izzy had her arm round her. "You ready to go?"

"Why?" she protested, her words still slightly slurred.

Izzy laughed, the sound hot and close to her ear, causing goosebumps to race up her skin. "Clary, you're very drunk. We've been dancing for hours, and I think I need to get you home."

"Why aren't you drunk?" Clary said, allowing Izzy to lead her out the club, one arm round her shoulders and the other round her waist. Her legs felt rubbery, her mind a blurred mess. She felt a little indignant- she could hardly walk yet Izzy seemed completely fine.

"I think I have more experience with alcohol than you" Izzy said, smiling at her. "But don't worry, it's kind of cute. To see you happy again, I mean."

_Kind of cute._ Clary felt heat in her face and was glad that they were now outside in the cool air, Izzy's steady arm leading them home. She leaned into the other girl with a happy sort of tiredness and tilted back her head to look at the stars.

 

When they got back to the Institute, Izzy gently deposited Clary onto her bed, but instead of leaving she lingered by her side for a moment. "Can I trust you to get into bed at least?"

Clary nodded clumsily, an intense tiredness taking over her now that she was in her cosy bedroom, her feet aching.

Izzy remained a moment longer, smiling at her- Clary got the sense she was definitely stalling, before she turned to go.

"Stay" Clary said quickly, but it came out slurred and Izzy turned with her eyebrows raised.

"What was that?"

"Stay" she repeated, focusing on making the word as clear as possible. Which was surprisingly difficult.

A slow smile spread over Izzy's face, before she jumped into bed beside her. "If you want me to."

Both of them were too tired to get changed, so they curled under the duvet in the dark. Listening to Isabelle's breathing, Clary felt a smile appear on her face as her eyelids fluttered shut.

 

When Clary woke up the next morning, it was because a piercing spear of light had been pierced through her eyeballs.

_"Aaarrghh!"_ she protested furiously, heaving the duvet over her head. Then she groaned, because even that small movement awoke a throbbing power drill in her head, which was drilling away at her skull in the most excruciating way possible.

"I predicted that you might be like this in the morning" Magnus's voice said sympathetically, before there was a scraping sound as he pulled back the curtains. "Isabelle told me that you drank rather a lot last night, Biscuit."

Why was Magnus in her room? And- more importantly- where was Izzy? Gingerly, like a mole emerging from the dark unground to the cruel glare of the surface, Clary poked her head out of the duvet as she shaded her eyes with her hand. Turning her head and trying to ignore the jolt of pain that rose in protest, Clary looked towards Izzy's side of the bed. It was empty. The sheets were cold when she touched them, and she felt a matching deflating feeling in her chest.

"Where's Izzy?" Clary croaked painfully. Her mouth felt like it had had a small animal hibernating in it overnight.

Magnus shrugged. "Probably the same place as Alexander is, I should imagine. When I woke up he was gone too."

Clary told herself they had probably gotten a call to go fight some demons or something, but still. It hurt that Izzy had left without even saying goodbye.

Or maybe she was trying to tell her something? Maybe Izzy had awoken in a panic, regretting last night- the dancing, the drinks, the...kiss. Maybe she'd hurried away as soon as possible so that she wouldn't have to face Clary and tell her how it had been a huge mistake.

Or what if it hadn't meant anything to Izzy at all? They'd both been drunk, Clary admittedly a lot more than Izzy, but still. It had been nothing but a drunken kiss and somehow Clary was reading way too much into it. A one-time thing. That's why Izzy hadn't woken her up this morning.

"Clary?" She realised Magnus was watching her carefully, stood by the door. "Are you okay?"

"Fine" she mumbled. "Just very hung over."

Still, Magnus lingered, his gaze kind and knowing. "Anything interesting happen last night?"

What was he suggesting? "We just danced. It was fun."

"I'm glad" he said with a wink. "Now I'll leave you to your hangover, Biscuit. Drink plenty of water, okay? And you should eat something."

"Maybe later."

After Magnus had shut the door behind him Clary stared up at the ceiling, releasing a long sigh.

Isabelle was her best friend. And would one drunken kiss ever change that?

 

It was nearing noon when she crawled out of bed and into some clothes before making her way to the kitchen, her throat dry and stomach growling.

To her surprise, Magnus was cooking something delicious smelling on the hob whilst Alec swung his long legs off a stool by the island in the middle of the room. They both abruptly paused in their conversation when she entered, looking shifty.

Clary looked suspiciously between them. "What is it?"

"You look terrible" Alec remarked. He grinned teasingly in response to her withering look.

"I'm flattered. But don't think I didn't notice you stopped talking as soon as I walked in here."

"Do you really want to know what we were talking about?" Magnus asked, spinning round with a spatula in hand. He was wearing a flowery apron. When Clary raised her eyebrows, he replied, "I was just telling Alexander how fantastic he was in bed last night."

Alec cleared his throat loudly. "O- _kay_."

Knowing they were trying to distract her again but not being awake enough to care, Clary just shook her head and got a large glass of water. She saw that Magnus was making an omelette, throwing in different spices with his usual elegant flourish.

Forcing herself to wait a full minute so that she didn't look to eager, she asked, "Where's Izzy?" Despite her purposefully casual tone, Magnus and Alec exchanged smirks. _Damn it._

"I only got back a few minutes ago" Alec replied, "so Izzy can't be that far behind-" As he spoke, the double doors of the kitchen burst open and Isabelle strode in wearing her black fighting gear, snake whip wound up her wrist. Her curls had all but escaped her ponytail, curling round her face.

At the sight of her, flushed and slightly breathless, Clary felt her stomach flip.

"Damn those Shax demons" Izzy said dramatically, rolling her eyes.

"Did you manage the last one okay?" Alec asked.

Izzy served him a cool stare, eyebrows raised. "'Manage'? Big brother, remember who you're talking to."

He smiled. "Sorry, I forgot I was talking to the best fighter in the Institute, right?"

"Right." Izzy flicked Clary a smile. "Hey, you."

Unable to speak, Clary just nodded before dropping her gaze. Izzy's greeting had been completely casual, like nothing had happened between them. Maybe that meant nothing really had. It had just been a meaningless drunk kiss, like Clary had thought.

There was a tiny pause, before Izzy went to peer round Magnus's shoulder. "Oooh, that looks good and I'm starving. Do you maybe want to make me one?"

"Fine. I'm already making Clary one after Alexander's though, so you'll have to be patient."

"Thank you" said Clary, surprised, and Magnus winked at her.

Izzy came to lean on the counter beside her, her arm brushing Clary's. Clary stared down at the floor, swallowing. It was too much. Too much to be this close to her and know that her feelings weren't reciprocated.

"Actually," she said abruptly, straightening, "forget about my omelette. Izzy can have it. I don't really feel hungry." With that, she hurried out the room and tried to ignore their perplexed looks.

When she was alone in the corridor she leaned against the wall, feeling absurdly close to crying. When she closed her eyes she saw the lights of the club sliding over Izzy's glowing skin, the dark kohl around her eyes, the half smile on her lips. The softness and the danger and the beauty.

She tried to shove it out her mind. She needed to stop torturing herself now that she knew it would never mean anything serious to Izzy.

After that she strode back down the corridor to her room, ready to take a shower and then maybe go the training room, work off all this stress...

_Bam!_ She collided with something solid as she rounded the corner, both of them shoved backwards until Simon grabbed her arms to steady her. "Clary, I'm sorry! Didn't see you there." He was grinning.

Clary pulled her arms out his grasp. "What are you doing here?" Although she hadn't meant to, she still sounded upset, and his smile faltered slightly.

"I came to see you and Izzy! Did you have fun last night?" he winked at her like they were conspirators in something she didn't understand. "The drinks definitely worked, right?" He laughed. "Clary, oh my god, you were so tipsy. Raphael said it would be unwise to leave you, but I knew that having us there would mean the plan wouldn't work-"

She blinked. "The _'plan'_?"

Simon stopped talking, looking a little confused. "Huh? Didn't Izzy tell you?"

Things were slowly clicking together in her head, and as they did Clary became more and more furious. "You...you planned the whole thing! Get me really drunk, sneak off with Raphael so that Izzy would have to take care of me...oh my god. What is this? Some sick plan to get us to make out or something?"

"What?" Simon was shaking his head rapidly like he was trying to clear it, looking panicked. "Clary, you're getting it all wrong! Yeah, we thought it couldn't hurt if you were a bit tipsy- you're always so guarded around Izzy and we knew that to act yourself you'd have to that guard down. But I certainly didn't plan for you to go on and have all those shots!" He tried to take her arm, but she shoved him off again. "Look, we were trying to help! I know you like Izzy, but you won't admit it to yourself- because of your mom, because Izzy is your friend. But you couldn't hide it forever."

"You had no right!" she shouted at him furiously. "And guess what, your 'plan' failed. Because it didn't work. Izzy doesn't like me in that way, as I already knew. Which is just fantastic, because after your awesome idea to make me realise how much I like her- which I did, by the way- I'm stuck with all these feelings and the realisation that she'll never ever return them-"

"Clary-"

"No, Simon. You've done enough. Look, I'm so happy that you and Raphael are together now. But you can't try and set me up because guess what, it turns out that even though you might really like someone, there's a high chance they won't feel the same."

"Clary" he said again, almost nervously.

_"What?"_

Simon jerked his head to something behind her. Clary's stomach dropped to the floor. Please, no.

But it was Izzy. Of course it was Izzy. Standing there almost awkwardly, hugging her arms to her sides.

There was a moment of almost unbearably awkward silence. Clary would have been very happy to evaporate. Or sprint away down the corridor. Either would be fine.

"Well, I'll just go and find something to eat..." Simon in a bright voice, ignoring Clary as she turned to him with wide, pleading eyes.

"You don't even eat normal food" she hissed as he hurried away to the kitchen, but he didn't turn back.

Then it was just her and Isabelle, stood in silence in the corridor. Clary couldn't remember a time that it had ever been this awkward between them, unable to even look at each other. Finally, she asked miserably, "How much did you hear of that?"

"Enough" Izzy replied. They both fell silent again as an oblivious shadowhunter strolled past, nodding at them both. When he was gone she went on, "Um, do you want to go up to the roof? We'll be able to talk properly there."

'Talk' probably meant that Izzy would gently tell her she didn't feel the same way but that she loved being Clary's friend, whilst Clary stood there mutely and tried not to die of embarrassment and disappointment. Which sounded about as appealing as being mauled by an angry werewolf.

"Okay" she said reluctantly, following the other girl to the elevator. Somebody else stepped in after them, but luckily they got off at the second floor, and then there was only one more floor until they were stepping out onto the roof.

The bright March sun was shinning down over the city, reflecting off glass skyscrapers and car bonnets. Green buds were about to emerge from the trees lining the sidewalks, and the chill of winter had almost vanished from the air. Clary leaned forward into the wall, looking out over the view. Isabelle copied her.

"I really don't want to make things awkward between us" Clary said hurriedly. "I just want to say that I love being your friend-"

"Is that _all_ you want?"

"What?"

"Do you only want to be friends?" Isabelle asked clearly, gazing at her as the breeze blew her hair about her face.

Clary took an unsteady breath. "You heard what I said to Simon, didn't you? I think that's pretty obvious."

"Plus you kissed me" Izzy pointed out. "Or were you drunk to remember that?"

Clary blushed. "Of course I remember that" she said quietly.

For an unbearably long moment Izzy was quiet, but she slowly moved her hand closer to Clary's where it rested on the wall until their fingers were touching. "And didn't I kiss you back?"

"You were drunk. I didn't know if that meant anything..." she trailed off, almost hardly daring to breathe. She darted a glance at Izzy; the other girl was looking out over the city. Then she took a breath and looked back at Clary, her mouth curving into a smile. "It meant something. To me. It meant a lot, actually." Slowly, almost nervously, Izzy reached out and brushed a lock of Clary's hair behind her ear. The gesture was so tender that Clary felt her eyes widen.

She'd seen Izzy with men before. The way she would push them against the wall, kiss them hungrily. Everything fast, everything rough, careless. But this...the way she'd touched her, the way she was looking at her now, soft and earnest and nervous. It was so different.

And when Izzy kissed her now it was soft and sweet, so light it was almost like she was imagining it. Clary leaned forward into her touch, melting into the other girl's body.

When they broke apart they remained turned towards each other, smiling as the wind picked up, whipping their hair through the air. "Simon knew I liked you" Izzy said quietly, interlinking her fingers with Clary's. Her voice was making Clary shiver. "That's why he knew his 'plan' would work. If you could call it a plan." Her smile turned teasing. "He tried, I guess. Bless him and Raphael."

"What? Raphael was in on this too?"

Izzy's hands came to rest on her waist, and suddenly the look she was giving her wasn't quite so soft and sweet. "It seems we were both quite obvious about it. Without meaning to be." She pushed Clary back against the wall and kissed her again, this time deep and insistent, gently easing open her mouth, their tongues darting together.

They only stopped when Clary pulled away, because she knew if Izzy kissed her like that for a moment longer she would just float away. Or explode.

"Simon is the best friend ever" she said breathlessly, grinning. "It's official."

Izzy trailed kisses down her jaw and neck, and it was all Clary could do to remain upright. "Not me?"

Clary met her eye with an equally teasing grin. "I don't think you're just my friend anymore, Isabelle."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you very much for all the kudos :)

Simon was pacing restlessly in the living room of Raphael’s section of rooms in the Hotel Dumort. “And now she hates me” he said, speaking in the hurried, chaotic way he always did whenever he was agitated, “and I honestly don’t blame her. She thinks we got her drunk like some, I don’t know, _date rape thing_ and forced her to get with Izzy. But we didn’t! I thought Izzy liked her back. Izzy even said she liked her back!”

“Simon, calm down” Raphael said slowly, from where he was sat in an armchair by the fire, which was flickering it’s pale yellow light over his lovely face. But even that couldn’t distract Simon from his pacing.

“Calm down. _Calm down!_ Raph, she’s my best friend, and she’s furious at me! I was supposed to be doing something nice for her and all it just went to-”

With a sigh, Raphael stood up and rested a hand on each of Simon’s shoulders, forcing him to stop and look at him. “Stop. Take a breath, okay?” He looked Simon clearly in the eyes, calm and unflappable as always.

Simon closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to take a breath like Raphael said. As soon as he’d left Clary and Izzy stood in that awful silence in the corridor he’d hurried home to Hotel Dumort, unable to bear Magnus and Alec asking him endless questions about what had gone wrong when he had no idea himself. And now he couldn’t stop pacing, endlessly turning over in his head what an idiot he’d been to meddle in someone else’s love life. Instead of helping Clary, he’d only made things worse for her.

“Clary will get over it,” Raphael said assuredly, “I promise. And you were just trying to be a good friend, so you can stop beating yourself up over it.”

Simon opened his mouth to argue, but at that moment there was a polite knock on the door. Raphael dropped his hands from Simon’s shoulders and turned to face it. “Come in.”

A respectful vampire stood in the doorway. “Sorry to disturb you, but you have two visitors.” His expression soured a little. “Shadowhunters.”

Simon’s heart jumped and he looked quickly to Raphael, who just nodded calmly as ever. “Send them in please.”

The vampire looked surprised, like he’d been expecting to be told to throw them out, but he turned and said something to someone behind him before Clary and Izzy walked in, hand in hand.

Raphael nodded to the other vampire, who shut the door after them, but Simon hardly noticed that because all his brain was saying was _Clary and Izzy! Hand in hand!_

“I’m sorry” he burst out, at the same moment Clary started, “Simon, I’m sorry-” They both looked at each other and laughed, and as they did he felt a great relief swell over him. So she didn’t hate him.

“It was a stupid plan” he went on hurriedly.

“Not that stupid” Clary said, looking at Izzy with a tiny secret smile on her face. They swung their linked hands between them like they were drawing Simon’s attention to them. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Raphael chuckled quietly under his breath. He looked to Simon with his eyebrows raised.

“So you’re officially a couple now?” Simon asked, feeling a wide grin spread over his face. “And you’re not mad at me?”

“Yeah.” Clary looked at Izzy again, they were smiling almost shyly at each other. Simon wanted to jump up and yell in happiness, but he managed to contain himself. “And of course not! Simon, I understand that you were just trying to help now.”

“This is the best thing ever!” he gushed, running forward to hug them both.

“Hey, don’t mess up my hair!” Izzy protested with a grin.

“I promise that Raphael and I won’t ever try to be cupids again” Simon gushed earnestly, when he released them. “Or love doctors, or anything else.”

“Cupids?” Izzy burst out laughing, looking between them. “Oh yeah, I can definitely imagine Raphael as a cupid.”

“Shut up” Raphael growled.

Simon looked to Clary, smiling warmly. “I just wanted you to be happy. That’s all.”

She smiled back at him, leaning into Izzy who pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “I am happy, Simon. Very happy.”


End file.
